Sunday, September 8, 2013

I Just Had To ...

I'm not sure if y'all have seen the posts going around lately that are either written to the husbands of stay at home moms or written just in general about being a stay at home mom but I just had to, HAD to write something in response.  Now please let me start off with saying I've read these posts, laughed most of the way through, empathized with some of what these women are saying and totally get where some of it's coming from.  Being a stay at home mom isn't easy.  But most things that are worth anything in this world aren't.  And (pardon my poor use of grammar by starting sentences with "but" and "and" BUT I honestly don't care, even though my high school AP English teacher would be horrified - sorry Ms. Ratliff) I think this is one of those things that is DEFINITELY worth it.  Don't you?  So here I go.  Don't hate me ...

Number one.  Regarding the ranting to the husbands.  The WORKING husbands that pay for our drive through lunches, our trips to Starbucks, our gas to and from our playdates, our clothes on our backs, pay our mortgage and the fact that we don't have to pay to put our children in daycare.  Really?  I mean REALLY?  Maybe I should preface this with the fact that I have a wonderful, supportive, "lets me get out of the house" and "helps feed and put the kids down" kind of husband.  But even if I didn't.  Need I mention all the stuff up there again?  Yes ladies, I get it.  They get to go to work every day and converse with grown ups.  And wear clothes that are clean.  And not covered in some sort of bodily fluid from one or both children.  And go to the bathroom by themselves.  And not be responsible for feeding anyone else but themselves.  BUT, we get to stay in our PJs all day (not that I do ... I ... eh ... am just sayin' ....) we GET to be with these sweet babies that God has entrusted us with.  We get to see the firsts that sometimes the daddies miss.  We get to be the one that they choose first when they get hurt, are sleepy, don't feel well or need a cuddle.  Have you ever stopped to wonder how hard that is on the daddies?  That mommy almost seems to trump them at different times of their children's lives?  Because I can tell you that I know when this has shifted it's not easy for this momma who's used to being the "parent of choice" even though it does warm my heart seeing the Mister get to experience that.  So let's cut our husbands some slack shall we? There's a lot of "Yeah, well you don't have to" and "You get to" this and that that we could say but there's a LOT of the same type of thing that could be said in our direction.  Let's not forget that most of us made this choice.  Do you REALLY want to go back to work?  Didn't think so ...

Number two.  Have you ever stopped to think how RIDICULOUS and selfish this all sounds to those mommas that would give ANYTHING if they could be home with their babies?  To not have to wake up at the crack of dawn every day, get themselves and however many kiddos they may have ready, out the door and drop them off at daycare just knowing there will be things they miss each and every day?  Now this is not to say that all working moms feel this way.  There are plenty of you that choose to work and more power to you if that is your choice, I'm just speaking of the moms that, given the choice, would be home in and INSTANT in their PJs rolling around on the floor with their little ones.  Soaking up each moment.  I don't know, it just seems incredibly insensitive to me ...

Number three.  I feel like we are more and more becoming a nation of complainers.  "Woah is me this, and woah is me that" ... y'all, have you READ your facebook feeds lately?  Have you SEEN the amount of people that can't get pregnant, have babies that are born with heartbreaking issues or have children facing horrific things that I cannot even fathom?  And we're complaining because our healthy, rambunctious toddlers are smearing paint on the floor, throwing tantrums, won't eat their dinner or are teasing their siblings?  It just feels so ... silly.  And honestly?  Sad.  And y'all please hear me again that there are days when I want to have a glass of wine at noon, and crawl in the corner and hide for a few hours minutes.  If you need to get out with another momma, talk about what's hard for you both, eat some junk food, drink a margarita, go shopping and just have a good time.  But in the long run?  Is anything we're going through, those of us with healthy children and a hard working, loving husband that is SO stressful that we need to be negative Nelly's all the time?  I really don't think so.

So thank your husband.  Kiss your kids and take a deep breath when they drive you nuts.  Heck, count to 10 if you need to, I do it ALL. THE. TIME.  And then just CHILL OUT.  Say a prayer.  Laugh.  Make whatever's happening funny.  Cause Lord knows if you think about it it is.  They're just babies.  They're just learning and so are we.  They'll get it all down some day and maybe we will too.  But until then, enjoy it.  There are parents hurting everywhere, working mommas, single moms and dads, couples that can't have children and so on and so forth that would give ANYTHING to have it as good as we do.  And I'd say we do.  We have it pretty good.

{DISCLAIMER:  I wrote this as much as a reminder for myself than I did for other SAHMs.  Just sayin'}


  1. Love this post. There have definitely been days where I'm envious of hubs but never would I trade that for the days home with my little one. Beautifully written.

  2. Amen, amen and amen!! Being a working mom who works all day then comes home and gets to do the same chores a SAHM does but only has hours to squeeze it in and not wanting to miss 1 more second of her daughter's life when SAHMs complain it drives me crazy...I wish I could stay at home but right now that is not an option for me and I know that God has me right where He wants me but trust me when I say being a working Mom sucks too...I hate missing out, I cry leaving my baby, and I wish I was home....and just like SAHM my clothes always have spit up on them, I have breast milk on my work clothes from pumping at work, I have toys, laundry, and dishes to be done every day!!

  3. Love this post -- I think it's all hard! Working moms, stay at home moms, it's ALL hard. I would be home in an instant but that's not a choice for me right now. And I definitely hate missing out, dropping him off at daycare and all that, I realize sometimes my SAHM friendsfeel like they're missing out, too. Point is, we're all on the same team! Love this post :) Thanks for the reminder that it is in face ALL hard, but I'd sign up for it a million times over for my little man!


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