Tuesday, March 6, 2012


So, while waiting for my fabulous blog designer to finish my fabulous blog design I thought I'd go ahead and post my first post. Because, well this is too hilarious to post-pone. Ha. Sorry, beware I make corny jokes.

So I've started boot camp again, I took about a 6 month hiatus and so did my weight loss. Apparently I'm REALLY good at staying the exact same weight. Which would be great if I were where I wanted to be, but I'm not. I'm about 10-15 lbs from there (aren't we always), so? This is the best way to get there. For me at least.

So back to the story. I show up for my first boot camp class, the first half of which we spent doing outside until it got dark. When we came inside there was a karate class of 3 students and one instructor. Allow me to paint you a picture ...

The guy leading the class looked to be in his 40's. Balding with glasses. Oh but don't you worry. He was a black belt. And I'm thinking watched Karate Kid too many times growing up and totally wanted to be Daniel LaRusso. Have any of you seen Home Alone (of course you have, if you haven't I'm not sure we should be friends)? Remember Fisher? The kid that wet the bed? Well picture him. Grown up. At 40. With a black belt. That was the instructor.

Then there's the class. There were three kiddos. One looked to be about 12 from his facial features and voice but about 20 from his size. Let's just say looked like he'd had twenty one too many Twinkies. And I can only say that because I was a "whole-box-eating" Twinkie kind of a kid. The middle kid looked exactly like I described the instructed 30 years prior. Fisher. Cloned. And the third? Bless her heart. She was Twinkie kid's equal just on a shorter scale and with red hair and freckles.

So there they were, all ready to pounce, literally, when we came in. In full karate-chopping stance. They pretty much took up the whole area of the room we were sharing so, on the way past they we all walked along the wall to stay out of their way. As we were walking the instructor said something in karate-speak to which the kids responded with a "HIIIII-YAAAAAA!!!!!!"

Now, I'm not sure if you've ever seen someone be attacked by dive-bombing birds before, but that's about how I responded. Jumped, yelled (which no one heard over the screeching "hi-ya'ing") and ran a little bit. Thank the LORD none of my boot camp mates had made it in the door yet. I'm pretty sure the only one that saw it was Mr. Black Belt himself, which didn't concern me.

After regaining my composure (and bladder control) the rest of the class had joined me and we were gearing up to resume class inside. As we were doing so, The Karate Kid himself approached us. When he did he said the following,

"If y'all are going to be working out in here I just want you to be careful and make sure you don't walk in the middle of us. Because we're going to be doing some pretty serious stuff, like roundhouse kicks like this ...

(and then ... he proceeded to DO a roundhouse kick ... WHILE yelling "HIIIIII-YAAAAA!!!")

... and I don't want anyone to get hurt.

... Crickets chirping ...

Now, there are four people in the class with me. And I'm pretty sure not one of us blinked. Or made a peep. Except for the girl next to me who actually turned her back to him, looked at me and giggled. Which didn't help stifle my giggle reflex that I was already having a hard time suppressing.

In the end we all managed to get out an "Okay ..." and went on our boot-camping way.

And LUCKILY, no one was hurt.

1 comment:

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